Great American Sportscasters
by Blaine Lam

Having written some frivolous pieces for my Web site, such as eulogies and tributes, I thought it time to take it up a notch and write a “think piece” about something every American should care about: sportscasting.

Sports, after all, are beyond symbolic -- they are synonymous with who we are as a people. The play-by-play announcers, the color commentators, the studio hosts and the analysts are the flesh and blood which bring sports to life, and into our lives.

Here, then, are America’s greatest sportscasters.

Starting with Joe Morgan (ESPN), the only human being I’ve found who can make our national past time even bearable. Teaming with Jon Miller, whose day job is with the San Francisco Giants, Morgan offers the ultimate in humility, objectivity and intelligence -- almost he opposite of that offered by his insecure counterparts who refuse to let us forget that they were once part of the game. When it’s appropriate, Joe Morgan will take us inside the mind of the batter, the pitcher, the manager and/or any player who might become a factor in a developing situation. He doesn’t worship or attack. He reports. He knows baseball but speaks English. In terms of all the attributes it takes to bring a game to life through expertise, Joe Morgan practically stands alone.

The next pair of great American sportscasters just don’t happen to be Americans, but without them, America could not understand what is going on in the Tour de France. Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwin(OLN) describe this great race with uncanny accuracy, a fact that is lost on you while they’re doing it, and only makes sense days after they’ve described it. This may be a dumb sport, but with Lance Armstrong on the bike and these guys in the booth, how can you pass it up?

While baseball can put you to sleep, only one sport is so inherently boring to watch -- and, by the way, auto racing is not a sport and is truly unwatchable -- so boring to watch, I say, that the primary entertainment value is the commentary. Hence, my hat’s off to the CBS golf crew. David Feherety and Gary McCord are a stitch and the only reason to give Feherety the edge is how effortlessly he offers humor with his refreshing use of the language. Peter Kostis knows the golf swing. Jim Nance is appropriately polite, and Lanny Wadkins is almost Morganesque in his insights. No one on ABC golf is any good and on NBC, give Johnny Miller his due for not sucking up to his former compatriots (though they hate him for that). We’re not fans of Jack Whittaker or Curtis Strange.

The hardest game to describe, because of its speed, is hockey, and ESPN’s Gary Thorne and Bill Clement are sensational. When joined in the studio by John Saunders and Barry Melrose (who may be the best studio analyst in all of sports), they are the complete package.

My next favorite group of sportscasters are “mood setters,” men who connect you instantly to the sport or team they’re describing. I suppose if you grew up in Michigan, the voices of Ernie Harwell or Van Patrick would create that mood for you. Same with Jack Brickhouse in Chicago, Jack Buck in St. Louis, Vin Sculley in Los Angeles (though he can make you accent-sick in three innings on national radio or TV). Of course, there’s Pat Summerall and Curt Gowdy, but the one voice, if you’re ever walking down the hall past a room with the TV set in it, that will instantly put you into the game it is that of Marv Albert. It’s just a matter of time before someone is going to “hit from downtown,” or “three-point land” and the game is on. A few other mood setters, like Albert, have key phrases that draw you in, the most notable being “Whoa, Nellie” Keith Jackson and college football, “Oh my” Dick Enberg in tennis, “How About That” Mel Allen, “Hey Hey” Jack Brickhouse, “Boom” John Madden and “Holy Cow” Harry Caray.

At the head of my list of former stars who bring a sense of humor and love of the game to sports casting are Terry Bradshaw (more on him in a second), Howie Long and Steve Young. Also in the class of superstars who are supercasters is Bill Walton, whose predictions come true a lot, Chris Collingsworth, Joe Theismann and, believe it or not, John McEnroe, who speaks little but says a lot.

Decent play-by-play announcers include Al Michaels, Bob Costas and Harry’s son and grandson, Skip and Chip; and let’s give a nod to old timers Lindsey Nelson and Jim McKay. You’ve got to hand it to anyone who could try to make bowling interesting, namely Chris Schenkel.

Bob Ueker leads the class of “novelty” announcers that includes Charles Barkley in basketball and football’s Don Meredith, about whom Frank Gifford once said, “our only trouble with Don was hoping he’d find the right city.”

The most creative sportscaster, in my book, is Chris Berman (ESPN) making pretenders out of Keith Olbermann, Dennis Miller and Dick Vitale.

And what list of people who shaped American culture would be complete without a woman? This one, actually. In truth, most women I encounter wouldn’t care to have their gender represented in this group.

The man who specialized in the most brutal of men’s sports, (boxing) Howard Cosell, probably did as much as anyone to move sportscasters from the sidelines to the headlines, and today sportscasters enjoy celebrity status, by and large.

I was working a celebrity dinner several years ago and had to track down retired quarterback Terry Bradshaw to take a phone call. CBS was on the line and gave him the word that he would be a network sportscaster.

He was one happy guy, and he’s made more of a name for himself and more money as a sportscaster than he ever did as a player.

Such a world.